Bereavement, Reflection and Moving Back into the World

Bereavement

There are those touched by this pandemic in a way which will live with them for the rest of their lives;

there are those who have really struggled with the isolation and it has adversely affected their mental well being,

and there are others who have sailed through and managed to ‘get on with life’ quite cheerfully throughout.

Of course there is overlap too.

Sometimes I think it is hard for each group to appreciate the other’s situation.

I have been overwhelmed by the love and sympathy from friends, family and the wider community of Kinghorn when my Mum became ill and my father died of Covid back on 10th January.

Normal life ceased.

Dad died at 93 years old. He had been retired for longer than he worked, he had enjoyed a good healthy life, dancing and travelling with Mum until two years ago…. and the end was thankfully very quick. He didn’t suffer too much so we were told.

Mum is still unwell, but she is being well cared for and we can speak to her on Zoom and phone (which we could rarely do when she was in hospital.) That’s all I can ask until, hopefully, I will see her again.

Reflection

My writing life ceased, although I continued with obligations for others when I could. Certainly at a slower pace.

…but my Dad wouldn’t have wanted me to wallow.

On reflection, two days before Dad  passed away, my last conversation with him was so positive. Looking back, he was thinking of me and the wider family and not himself.

‘You are happy up in Fife?’ he asked.

‘You’ve got a good life there, haven’t you?’

As I stood looking out over the Firth of Forth, as a container ship floated into my line of vision, I remarked, ‘I wish you were standing here with me Dad.’

At the end of our conversation I told him I loved him. Not something I have said very often in my whole life.

Looking back, we were both saying goodbye, and that is a comfort.

Moving On

Neither Dad nor Mum would want me to wallow anymore though.

As well as supporting other authors, part of my psyche is to create, to write and to let the words and ideas flow, later moulding them into  a form just right for sharing.

I hope to begin to focus on my projects again.

And so, slowly but surely, I will return to a ‘real’ world. Not the ‘normal’ before lockdown, but a different normal, building my confidence to be part of the writing community once more.

  Mum and Dad with us on Guernsey only   Three Years ago

 

What am I going to do in my writing life in the next few months?

  • Continue writing my current project ~ another Mystery Inspired by History
  • Publish a little book of encouragement for your adults, needing support finding direction on life following this pandemic
  • Get together poems I have written in the last few months about dementia
  • Promote my two mysteries.

…and that, I think, is enough for now.

MURDER, Now and Then will be only 99p on Kindle from 22nd February to 1st March 2021

MISSING, Past and Present will be only 99p on Kindle from 1st to 8th March 2021

5 Comments

Filed under Memoirs, Mystery inspired by history series, Writing

5 responses to “Bereavement, Reflection and Moving Back into the World

  1. Reblogged this on A Selection of Reflections and commented:

    My thoughts and prayers are with all who are struggling with loss through these strange times. Let’s pray that, phoenix like, new life will be born out of the fire of life through Covid.; New beginnings; a place renewed in its compassion for each other and the natural world all around us.

  2. Pat

    Thank you for sharing these intimate and touching life-changing events, Diana. I didn’t know and can understand the pull back. I’m truly sorry for the loss of your Dad along with the illness of your mum. Words can’t really make the pain go away but maybe can comfort in an attempt to help in some small way reaching out in love. God bless you, my friend, and may each day shine a little more brighter. Hugs!

    • Thank you so much Pat. It was knowing people were thinking of us all in prayer which kept my sister and I going through the darkest days. I believe Mum was suffering from long Covid and therefore when she had her hip operation was not responding. She just wanted to sleep. We have been told that she will never walk again but she is beginning to ‘awaken’ from these dark times and I had a lovely chat with her on What’s App yesterday. I said, ‘it almost feels as if I have my arms around you Mum and I’m giving you a hug.’ Much love to you Pat, my friend over the pond. Dianaxx

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